Weight doesn't just 'drop off', you have to 'work it off'.

Updated: Jul 23, 2021

Three months ago I recruited the help of Joanne of Nightingale Fitness with the quest to lose weight. I almost reached my target of losing 10kg in 10 weeks, just a week out, which I was happy with.

Easy right?

The weights just dropping off right?

Don’t be fooled!

This journey has taken a lifetime of believing I don’t need to do any work and of trying to get away with it, and probably 3 years of psychological work to even get to the point of putting anything into action to lose the weight.

My significant weight increase started approx. 3yrs ago when I developed skin cancer. I already had some maladaptive neural pathways of trauma from having a back injury in Australia which caused me to be somewhat overprotective of my body. But the cancer heightened my vulnerability further because I had no control over this one. It, irrationally, caused me to close even more in on myself physically and somehow my brain came to tell my body it hurt and needed rest even when it didn’t. Having fibromyalgia this is a very normal neurological brain process but it was heightened to the point I was gaining a stone a year.

Two years of Psychotherapy didn’t make me lose weight but it did make me aware of what was getting in the way. I look back at journals I’ve written that show my developing awareness of these barriers but yet no solutions it seemed.

However, building this awareness was the start of my solution.

Back then I know I would have shunned Jo at the first hurdle. I would have projected all my anger and frustration about my cancer onto her by abandoning the support she was offering because I was not ready then to receive her help. By denying my own responsibility I would have been highly critical of her and nothing she would have done would have been right.

When I finally hit the point I was ready I knew the barriers I was going to have to face and I needed to employ somebody else to be my second voice that shouted over me at each hurdle so I couldn’t ignore them. Jo did receive many dirty looks and at one point she was lucky I did not still have the boxing gloves on but it didn’t stop me or her, 2yrs ago it probably would have. I also had to find the strength to shout over all the things I knew I would hear from my family and society that has led me to this point until now. In doing so I have come up with some new philosophies about weight loss which probably contradicts everything you hear and read, but to me is more realistic.

I can write this list because I have been through it and it is from this experience that I have come to learn these tips. I am also a Psychologist so it does come a little from this perspective as my work informs my own wellbeing. They may or may not work for you but if you are feeling resistant to them then it may be that there is more psychological preparation required before you start a programme.

SO… here is my personal tip list.


Don’t start with the physical journey until you are mentally ready for it.

DO your psychological preparation….

What is your motivation?

Is this strong enough to hold on too at the darkest times?

See a counsellor if you need help too….

…Identify the things that have not worked before. If they didn’t work then why will they work this time, so, identify why they didn’t work and create a new strategy.

…Become aware of what your psychological hurdles are. Get comfortable with them as you will be getting pretty close to them.

…Identify what is your voice (“I don’t like being this weight”) and what are others (“You’re becoming skin and bones”, You are wasting away”, “you are fine as you are “). If you are not happy as you are then you are not fine as you are.

….Then, tell your PT what you need reaffirming so as to strengthen YOUR voice.


When you feel ready and you know what you need from your PT then you can start.

In contrary to the life mantra of today…..

Don't live for the moment…but in the moment……

Look to the future….for the thing that motivated you in the first place….for the clothes you will fit in, for the things you will be able to do being fitter, for the lack of guilt and emotional turmoil you won’t have gone through for eating that cake, for the real reason you wanted to do this in the first place.

Look back at the past….for the past few weeks when you have been doing really well with your eating plan, do you look back and still miss having that sausage roll last Tuesday, or that chocolate cake last Thursday with your afternoon coffee. Are you now traumatised for not having had them when you look back? In that moment I felt proud for going without.