Blog for Spectrum Counselling Psychology

BLOG

Recent Posts

Search

Listen to the small things to prevent them becoming big things

Listen to the small things to prevent them becoming big things

Particularly children with their parents, if a persons small everyday issues are ignored, dismissed talked over, then this can leave a person feeling alone, abandoned, rejected or feel they are a burden or inconvenience, or that what they are trying to share is somehow not acceptable. Imagine what bigger problems this can lead too in the long term! They can become withdrawn, isolated, distrusting of people, low self-esteem and confidence. They come to learn they should not sh

Ask the person "How would you like me to help?"

Ask the person "How would you like me to help?"

It is very easy to get distracted by your own need and self pressure to fix a persons problem. This can block any capacity you have to actually help them by just listening to them or by asking them what they need from you. It is not for you to know how to fix it, it is for them to know and to tell you what they need. You, in turn, will find this much easier to listen if you don't put the pressure on yourself to need a solution. #ListenFirst @Spectrumpsychol @Spectrumcounselli

Listen with all of you!

Listen with all of you!

Only 80% of listening comes from 'words'. The rest comes from body language, empathy, connectivity. If you are looking at the tv or your phone you cannot really look to listen so you are only hearing 20% of what the person needs to share. Can you see in their eyes what they are feeling? Can you see the tensions and fidgeting as they talk? These signs give you so much more information than the words they are saying. We also need to listen to ourselves. Can you 'feel' in your b

Break the ice by doing something together

Break the ice by doing something together

A previous post talked about ensuring you appear available, which means not disappearing into your phone while you wait. However, sometimes just sitting and talking can feel intimidating for some people. If you know the person finds this difficult then arrange to do an activity together, such as walking the dogs, playing pool, going to watch a game, doing crafts etc. Doing something together creates an unspoken connection of energy between you beyond words, which as in my pre

Listening is a great opportunity to learn and grow yourself.

Listening is a great opportunity to learn and grow yourself.

Sometimes giving advice when somebody shares is what is needed. But often by listening effectively offers the person the empowerment to resolve their own issues. For them to find their own voice and learn about themselves and what they need to do. This way it increases their self-confidence by not giving you the power, but you giving it to them. By offering advice is not truly listening to the other person. It is listening to what they present and then listening to what you

Listen to the small things to prevent them becoming big things

Listen to the small things to prevent them becoming big things

Particularly children with their parents, if a persons small everyday issues are ignored, dismissed talked over, then this can leave a person feeling alone, abandoned, rejected or feel they are a burden or inconvenience, or that what they are trying to share is somehow not acceptable. Imagine what bigger problems this can lead too in the long term! They can become withdrawn, isolated, distrusting of people, low self-esteem and confidence. They come to learn they should not sh